The newly minted attorney proudly perused his masterpiece: a draft summary judgment motion.
He sensed someone -- something -- hovering. The little bird landed softly on his shoulder.
Young Esquire: "Welcome, little fellow. How like thou my writing?
Bird: "Lose the first paragraph."
Young Esquire: "What! Pray, explain."
Bird: "It's a big mess: jargon and redundancies. Here, take a look at this colorful chart I prepared:
.jpg)
Bird: "How many times do you have to repeat 'Plaintiff John Smith'? It's in the caption and in the footer. How many times do you have to refer to the attorney's name and that he is attorney of record'? It's there 3 times on the cover page."
Young Esquire: "Well, then, -- 'duh'? What dost thou mean by 'duh'?"
Bird: "Duh: Hereby moves? Of course, you're moving; it's a motion. Duh: This . . . Court? You filed it in the Woe County courthouse and it landed in this judge's inbox. Who else could you possibly be asking for relief? Duh: In the above-entitled case? Some other case, maybe?
Young Esquire: "But it's how the elders do it. Witnesseth these huge form books!"
Bird: "Those form books were written by people who spoketh the way you do, or who think they have to speaketh that way in order to impress clients and charge them more money. Ditch the paragraph. It's a bore. It stinketh. You're introducing the 'INTRODUCTION.' What's up with that? Just plunge right in and tell a great story -- in plain English. Keep the judge awake at least until page two."
Hanging his head, the young man sighed.
Young Esquire: "But what shall I tell the elders down the hall?"
Bird: "Tell them a little bird told you to do it."
* * * * *
Here endeth Tale the First.
No comments:
Post a Comment